Love - What is Love? How it feels when you fall in love? My experience with feelings

What is Love? How it feels when you fall in love? My experience with the feelings. 

Love
is very simple but it is a very complex thing to explain and it can vary from
person to person. I don't believe in love at first sight, we like things or
persons at first sight but real love or love as a feeling are completely
different things. However, many times we start spending time with people we
like and then we fall in love with them, that is a completely different thing. I
have seen many people who did not differentiate between love and like and later
he/she realized his/her mistake. 

 

                     Then how do
we understand our true feelings? There is no specific way to understand it, you
have to understand it with your mind over time. But all I can say is that the
specific feeling will be completely different from all the rest of the
feelings. That feeling has never changed and will never no matter whether we
live in the stone age or the 20th century, no matter how rich or poor you are
it does not matter if you are a boy or a girl you will feel the same. It
changes the way we express our love but my friend, true love always be the
same. These days I have seen a strange tendency to show off when some people
become sad that they don’t have a lover even with all his/her friends in a
relationship. It's ok if you are still single, you have your own life, and that does
not mean that you have to make a lover, dear love is not a thing to create,
it's a true feeling. If you like someone, wait and stay honest you will get
your true love one day for sure. Love is not an agreement, it's a feeling. Open
your heart be honest with your feelings and respect loving one. 

 

It
took a long time in my life to understand what true love really is. She is my
best friend, honestly, I never thought of her that way, Until I realized
myself. She had full authority over me as a friend, it was the same with me. I
was a simple-minded cool dude from college and afraid of relationships and
responsibility. I would love to spend time with her, I would love to talk to
her, I would deliberately delay so that I could talk to her for a while more,
on my way home from college I would miss the train (2.25 P.M train from Bagula
Station) on purpose so that I could see her little more from the opposite platform,
I used to sit on a broken wall in platform No.1 and watch her talking by raised
the index finger to her friends, just before the train entered the station
would be crowded and I couldn’t see her properly, some days if luck was on my
side, I could see her through the window again. If she was off someday, I felt
lonely despite being with the whole class with me, those days were awful to me,
like a boring colorless flower. I always wanted her to be in front of me, talk
to me, or not just stay in front of my eyes. I could see her smile from a
distance, her eyelids twitching and her fingers moving while talking. She was
my best friend and she could make decisions on any subject related to me
without my permission. She trusted me and I trusted her in any situation if
anything happened in life small or big, I waited to tell him, wondering how
long I would tell her, I would have lightened myself by talking to her, and she
does the same. Sometimes we quarrel and get angry. And anger was always on her
nose. I was afraid of losing her so I told her to give me a warning once if she
is really angry. We sometimes try to
choose a lover for each other often.

 

The only fear was how
I met her after college, I have said before that I never wanted to lose her.
Sometimes I become very realistic, I know when college is over friends slowly
go away, and the first few months are seen to be very frequent phone calls, and group
meetings then everyone gets busy in life.  but I don't want to lose her.
Will she be the same or change after college? Even if I call her, will it be
annoying? Will she start avoiding me and then slowly forget me? But I knew in my
heart that I could see her this way all my life. I wanted to sit quietly with
her and talk to her for a long. I just wanted to see her smile forever. 

 

On November 29th, 2012
after classes together for two years, on a winter morning, I went to the classroom
and asked others about her, she was sitting on a corner of the college grounds and
talking with other friends, she looked pretty that morning. I can visualize
every moment of that time. That was the moment walking to her from the edge of
the field, I realized, in that little moment I found myself in love. I
was afraid, shocked, and upset with myself because I don’t want to lose her, I was
afraid if she could find out my feeling it would be the end of my friendship. She
was my best friend and how I was able to do that is how I indulge in this
feeling? 

 

I was her best friend
and it was a shame for me to have such feelings for her. I looked into myself
and found I have all those qualities which are called real love. I thought she
would never understand it, if she ever knew my mind, maybe she will be away
from me for the rest of her life. 

 

I couldn’t tell,
because her friendship is more valuable to me than my feelings, no matter how
my stupid felling are shouting, at least I can talk to her, it was a lot to me. I
started to act like a cool dude and frank with everyone to suppress my
feelings. But even after returning home from college, I always remembered the time I spent with her, her words are always in my ears. Sometime in the evening
when I wanted to listen to her voice, I called her with an excuse it would be a
lot more relaxation after a little talk, in just a few words, it was as if I
was getting a lot more life in me. Not that I was desperate, there are also
other friends in my class some of them liked me as well but she was special she
was that special girl for whom I have been waiting so long. There were a lot of
offers before this feeling arrived, I was not desperate for a relationship same
also, her If we had been in another relationship before understanding this
feeling, it would have been wrong, first, you have to understand yourself, and
it is the hardest thing and you have to understand that feeling first, and
understanding that feelings are Love.

 

I was scared, I never
said and I would never say it, she is more important in my life, not my
feeling, and talking with her is more important no matter how much love I have for
her. I just wanted to be with her anyhow for as long as possible. I don’t know
what would happen later, I wanted to see her more and more her smile at that
moment. I knew I would suffer a lot after college, I was upset…

 

That day at the
station on the way home after finishing the last class of college (Graduation),
I don’t remember the exact topic but I was with my four friends along with her
discussing something important, She was not mindful of the discussion, and was
little upset, She showed me the phone and ask me how the wallpaper was, I was
not that interested that time on her wallpaper. Her train arrives at that time
on the opposite platform, I was still in the discussion I couldn’t speak with
her properly at that moment, my phone rang while she was on the overbridge,
then she said from the opposite platform “I LOVE YOU” I will never forget that
moment, She was good at hiding her feelings, She got on the train and stood at
the door while talking with me, I was watching her from the opposite platform.
After her simple confession, I got all my answers, I have been feeling guilty
for so long about because of my feeling, and I was free that day. Slowly I understood
everything, I understood the changes in her behavior, and I was happy and satisfied
that I was that too as she was for me. We fight every day as we love and care
for each other every day, I still ask her to give me a warning before
getting really angry with me, and the truth is that she has never given a
warning once in so many years.

Me with Her

BTW
(I was stupid, on that day there was a photo on her phone wallpaper the photo
says- “I love you”)